Since I am in a bit of an upswing I am demanding more of myself. I need to find a way to be financially secure come hell or high water and that has been painfully hard to do around all my various health issues but with my mind alert and on fire I decided it was time to say hell with having a body that wasn’t working, it’s time to do some brain work! And so I told myself I would have to write at least 2,000 words a day in my blogs or manuscripts. They say if you can publish twenty books that’s the golden threshold where you can make a steady $50,000 a year. Seems a stretch considering my one book is lucky to sell a copy a month… which would make my income about $3 from it. Woot woot! STILL, I have to try. It beats sitting around here rotting and waiting for death.
The first week I had to amend my initial goal of 2,000 words a day. It now became 2,000 words every day I didn’t have a migraine (because those fuckers lay me out for three days at a stretch. I don’t even get up to eat or go the bathroom unless I HAVE to.) But I still managed to go over 14K that week! The second week I had to add another amendment after I was struck down with the worst cramps I have ever had – they were close to making me black out and I nearly went to the ER but I didn’t want to be that crazy bitch who goes to the ER because she can’t handle her period. I didn’t write that day because I couldn’t sit up. The day afterwards I was WIPED OUT and couldn’t focus at all. I just slept. So my second amendment was to allow time to recover from bad attacks and/or physical activity because I am usually toast the day afterwards. Even so I still managed over 16K that week, even more than the week before! I’m on my third week and I am struggling with focus now. The desire is there, all the ideas are there, but some days even getting 800 words out is SO HARD. Its like listening to a boring lecture and trying to get all the important details while someone is blasting static noise as loud as they can. I’ve still made it… but just barely and I don’t know what the future holds when I will clearly have to go out more just to keep my sanity.
Either way I just have to keep plowing my way through, doing as much as I can when I can in hopes it makes up for the days I just can’t. Here’s to hope, hard work, and a livable future!