For years I have gone back and forth to a whole slew of gynecologists complaining of periods that resembled the wrath of God. They all told me estrogen was the answer and from the time I was 14 on I was on and off estrogen contraceptives to tame my unruly menses. The only problem is it never did. I was told my periods would be more regular, lighter, and I would have less other symptoms but every time I tried a new brand of pill I found I was just trading 10 or 15 symptoms with 10 or 15 different symptoms. It wasn’t making anything better, it was just playing the bad side effect shuffle. And in the meanwhile the bleeding never let up. I would routinely bleed through a twelve hour overnight pad in as little as four hours.
And then I went to a holistic doctor who ordered a hormone test and told me my estrogen was high. No wonder the estrogen birth control pills weren’t working! It was just pouring gasoline on a fire! He suggested I try using progesterone cream and I did for a while – and it helped a little. I was more regular, my cramps were a little less horrible, but it wasn’t a big enough change for me to want to spend $50 a month that I don’t have on creams my insurance wanted nothing to do with. And so a year or two went by… when I was once again reminded I should be doing something about this.
Eventually I decided to ask for progestrone-only oral contraceptives which have a higher concentration of the hormone than in the creams. Instead of going to the private gynecologists who were constantly letting me down and talking me into their bullshit “solutions” I opted to go somewhere that I would be seen as an individual capable of making my own informed decisions: Planned Parenthood. And WOW! Was it easy! I made an appointment online requesting exactly the kind of birth control I wanted and I held a teleconference call with the doctor to discuss it. And just like that I was having a year’s supply sent to my door.
I’ve now been on it for a full month and have experienced my first period and it was the best period of my life. It showed up on time, the bleeding was the lightest I have ever experienced by a huge margin, and my only other symptoms were sore tits and some extremely mild cramping that almost struck me as cute compared to my last three periods which literally had me in bed nearly crying from how bad the cramps were. I was shocked. I am 35 and have been trying to find a miracle cure to the curse since I was 12. Seriously. I had no bloating, no legs that felt like lead, no lower back pain, no homicidal mood swings, no fatigue, no insomnia, no cravings for shit food. NONE OF IT. I was fully functional during this time. I never thought I’d see the day!
And the only caveat is so absolutely tiny. If you decide to use progesterone only pills as birth control you have to take it the same time every day – if you’re off for more than an hour it no longer works as contraception for 48 hours. But that’s the other thing. Estrogen pills take a full month to kick in before they’re effective as contraception and that month clock resets every time you fuck them up. Having to take progesterone at the same time every day is FINE by me! So is being protected from unwanted pregnancies in as little as 48 hours! I have a little alarm set and they fit nicely in my wallet so that no matter where I am I can pop one at the exact same time every day. Easy as pie.
Why is this not a normal route to seek for women who have been let down by estrogen pills? Even the Planned Parenthood doctor didn’t think it’d do anything for my other symptoms. She’d never used it to treat a hormone imbalance. And I think that’s the case everywhere. Well, that needs to change.
If you’re an ovary owner who has reacted poorly to estrogen contraceptives consider asking to try progesterone only pills. They have even less side effects than estrogen so there’s very little to lose!
