This song came to me one day when I decided to let YouTube play whatever it wanted to. After about four hours it fell face first into a pocket of modern British music that was completely and utterly new to me- a hapless American just trying to mess with the algorithms. This led to four more hours of nervous laughter and confusion as I went about my daily chores, occasionally looking up to see what was playing. At one point the Arctic Monkey’s Cornerstone came up and I couldn’t turn away. This wasn’t the raucous happy music that was playing before it. It was just…. face-peelingly awkward. Of course this endeared me to it because I fucking love English awkwardness. Peep Show level awkwardness.
So this lodged itself in my brain as I listened. The only problem is I found this particular accent to be a smidge hard to understand at times so it’s not really that surprising I got it wrong and heard, “I kept my chocolates to myself” instead of, “I kept my shortcuts to myself” but at that point I couldn’t change it. The image was already planted in my head. WITH CHOCOLATES. Because chocolate makes everything better. So do itchy red sweaters. An homage to the original video. And you know what? Now that I know what the lyrics actually are I’m still hearing chocolates.
So now you know what happens when you mix awkward lyrics, bad ears, and a rubbery caterpillar. Stuff. Lots of stuff.
