Author: Theophanes Avery

Theophanes Avery is a hapless wanderer, avid writer, artist, adventurer, joyfully androgynous being, and all around lover of life. They are the author of their debut book Honoring Echo as well as the writer of numerous blogs on many subjects.

Glen Meets a Lion Standing Alone with a Tadpole in a Jar

Ah, back to the fond memories of my youth! This one gives me a wave of nostalgia. When I decided to start drawing Glen again I thought it’d be wise to see what songs other people are the most perplexed by and low and behold Led Zeppelin’s Dancing Days kept coming up over and over again. Maybe because it’s not just totally bizarre it’s quite a vivid image (if not completely wrong in most cases.)

I listened to a lot of Led Zeppelin when I was a teenager but apparently I never actually heard any of the lyrics because holy smokes. This is not the only weird little gem by a long shot! Still, this was a great way to get back into the comic game. I tried all sorts of new things with the software I was trying to learn and although I can’t say I’m 100% satisfied I can say it gets the point across. Now as to why Glen decided to show up with a dead fly-infested frog in a jar… well that’s up to you to decide. I could say but honestly I have no idea. Glen does what he wants. I have surprisingly little control of him. My life as an illustrator is… interesting.

Where is Glen’s Mind?

As I set about drawing Glen I have been sharing the results with a lot of people. Some feel like Glen is an old familiar friend but others who are not used to this weird rubbery outburst are a bit confused by him still. One such person looked at me incredulously and said, “There is a lot of self depreciation in these comics.” I had no idea what to respond. I mean there probably is… seeing as Glen was borne from my teenage mind all those years ago but today I don’t have as much of an excuse…

“Well… I don’t know, maybe the lyrics that inspire them are self depreciating. I don’t think so though because most of them sound damn happy.”

“You still had to pick the lyrics. Do some Pixies!! That’ll be great!”

“Okay but I am in no way responsible what comes out of this…”

I decided upon Where is My Mind. It’s a beautiful song full of even more prettyful gibberish. Maybe a little too much because Glen made me draw three separate comics. SIGH. It’s almost as if the randomness of this tune was made to be gently teased by a caterpillar.

The Pixies vs Shark Week

With each of these three comics I had to learn something new. In the first I had to achieve movement and a weird body position. In the second I learned how to make a sunset while inserting the shark documentary that was playing on the TV behind me. In the third I took one of my nature photos and just drew Glen into it. Why is the fish in such distress? Why is Glen in camouflage? Is this some sort of trap? I DON’T KNOW BUT I WOULDN’T TRUST IT.

Glen Walks Slowly Down the Hall, Faster than a Cannonball

Alright, so I have a confession to make. Although I grew up predominantly in the 1990’s I was never fond of the music. In fact if you want me to instantly feel like shit just crank up some godawful pop from the era, you know something I probably had drilled into my brain while riding the bus to and from school, and bambo! I will be in a funk. A horrible 90’s induced depression haze. WOOHOO!

As such the only reason I have ever heard Oasis’ Champagne Supernova is because y’all kept pointing it out like, “Dude, these lyrics make no sense! Do this one!” And so I looked it up and you’re totally right. The lyrics are whack. So I sat for a few minutes wondering how the hell I was going to make sense of them. This is what Glen came up with and no, it’s not a coincidence he’s slogging through what appears to be a middle school hallway.

Glen IS the Walrus

Ah, how could I do so many comics riffing funny lyrics and not at least give a tip of my hat to the Beatles? I can’t. It’s impossible. This comic came to me so quickly I literally laughed aloud and surprised myself. What’s better still is that I am the Walrus was written solely to screw with people trying to interpret lyrics so it’s doubly wonderful to put into comic form. And I adore it. It makes me happy to sing along. Win win win!

But really this comic cuts to the quick when it comes to the pure silly nature of Glen… playing with bendy straws like so many of us did as small children. It’s just perfect in every way.

And since I am here babbling at you about literally nothing how about I end this entry with the most whimsical thing I know about walruses? Here it is: There was a skeleton of a 2,000 pound walrus once discovered buried under a train station in London with eight human bodies. No one knows where it came from or why it was buried there. Now you can stay up at night wondering pointless things too. You’re welcome.

Glen and the Woolly Bully

Oh boy, now we’re in for it. Of course Woolly Bully was a big favorite of mine when I was ten or so. I mean how could it not be? No one seemed to have any idea what the title to it was or what any of the lyrics were but that didn’t stop anyone from raucously singing along! It was they farmy version of Louie Louie! Which is also absolutely perfect in every way.

SO YEAH. This one’s been in my head for a while too. I just never figured I could draw a bull with luscious locks.. How do you think I did? I’m actually almost impressed. He looks a lot like the Highland Cattle I have become so fond of over the years. Even better Glen seems like he loves the new member of the crew. Look at the adoration in his giant eyes!

Glen Follows a Melodramatic Trail of Fluff

It had to happen. We had to be introduced to the most controversial character in the Glen family: the suicidal teddy bear. Why? BECAUSE. I know you’re probably staring at the screen laughing nervously and asking, “What?” It’s OK. We’re all confused. Mostly because I adopted the idea of the suicidal teddy bear from one of the weirdest corners of YouTube as he was featured in Les Rythems Digitales’ Sometimes. Sometimes we all feel like a suicidal teddy bear. Wait, what? No. Just say no to defluffing kids.

Sky Pilot Glen

One of my favorite past times has been a game I call Put Glen in a Hat. First I chose a ridiculous hat at random then I plop it on his adorable little rubbery head and wait to see what facial expression I get. It’s a lot like that game single middle aged women play called Let’s Put a Sweater on the Cat. Same results too!

So today I chose an aviator’s cap. I don’t know. I think it’s charming. Makes him look all Amelia Earhart-y. He doesn’t seem to appreciate it much. Do you think it’ll help if I crank up Sky Pilot and start singing along loudly? I mean, it couldn’t hurt. Caterpillars love 1960’s anti-war protest songs!

Glen Dresses as a Dapper Gent

This was my first attempt at doing anything fancy with Glen when I picked up the new Wacom tablet. I had no idea how anything functioned on it so I was just playing with textures, colors, and special effects. I had no idea what Glen would look like when I started but what ended up coming out of that experimentation seems to be Glen dressed as a dapper Victorian gent. Why? I don’t know but I think it’s goddamn adorable and I am totally digging the random bits of curly hair. Also I’m not buying the fact he looks super polite here. His posture is just too good. He’s up to something. I don’t really know what.

Glen Spoofs The Gashlycrumb Tinies

Sometimes I like to give Glen and Old Timey feel by drawing him in black and white. Today I was messing around with the new software and dashed out a really quick little homage to a local New England author – Edward Gorey and his grim ABC book that adorned many a child’s room: The Gashlycrumb Tinies. Does it do the original any justice? Not in the least! But I really wasn’t aiming to share this one either…

Glen’s Baaaaack!!

After deciding that Glen needed to come back I bought myself a Wacom tablet and waited eagerly for it to arrive. When it did this was the first crude drawing of Glen I came up with. There’s no punchline, this was just pure practice. As you can see it looks horrendous. None of the proportions are right. It’s rough. But it was a start! And as you can see it set me going so I am going to leave it here to show how practice makes perfect.