Author: Theophanes Avery
Fond Memories of Killing Off The Hanson Brothers…
What do you mean most children don’t have Barney and the tele-tubbies on a satirical hit list?
When the Torch is Passed Via an Apple Pie
Baking apple pie with my grandmother is a Thanksgiving tradition I will never forget.
Built Maine Tough – The Women in my Life
I was born into a family of rugged pioneering individualists – and they were all women.
Say What? My Oh-So French Teacher
Most people had a favorite teacher growing up. Mine was French and I loved her for her openly disdainful opinion of my peers.
Wife Beater V. Baseball Bat – a Story from the Backwoods of Maine
Sometimes every day heroes come in the form of a stringy 20-something year old woman weilding a baseball bat.
Camp Grenada Had Nothing on Ferry Beach
When I was ten years old I was given a penpal from one town over. The reason for this was simple. In the following year I would…
When Going to Dive Pet Stores was a Form of Entertainment
When I was growing up one of my favorite things to do was to go to little mom and pop pet shops that were scattered…
Never Ask for Directions to the Cracker Factory…
Sometimes having very loud and embarrassing friends can actually be pretty funny. Today I speak of a friend who once went to a flea market…
Boy it must have Sucked Being an Openly Bi-Sexual Man in a Small Town in the 1980’s…
These days my brain has been kicking in and just throwing me completely with random flashbacks of seemingly nothing. Today it was a memory of…
Mourning the Death of Microsoft Paint
It was a love story, a manage a trois between myself, a hookah-smoking caterpillar, and MS Paint.