OK, so today’s book is probably the weirdest thing I have ever stumbled upon. I found it while I was researching other fun destinations to go to in my area and the weird cryptids that are supposed to live there. Some people play softball and go to barbecues. I… wander aimlessly through the woods hoping to see something wild and whimsical to add to my other blog Catching Marbles.
I was falling down another one of those rabbit holes when I discovered a new strange mystery beast called a pukwudgie – a truly unnerving shape shifting beast believed in by the indigenous folks in these parts if I am to believe the internet. That somehow led me to a link to this book of personal experiences observing the pukwudgies written by a man living maybe an hour away. OK. I’m in. Blow my mind.
Puckwugie Legend of Sunset Hill is clearly not written by a professional author, or even someone with a half-way decent editor. Even the title is misspelled – with an added c in pukwudgie. And it is SUPER repetitive sometimes giving the same information in one sentence up to three times. That’s a remarkable feat. Thank God it’s only 43 pages long and I wasn’t reading it for its literary merit…
That being said this is a BIZARRE book. I don’t know what this dude was seeing but the more he described them the more consternated I became. It went from, “OK, these are clearly misconstrued porcupine sightings” to “What the ever loving fuck is he talking about?!” The pukwudgies went from vaguely porcupine-looking creatures to freakish mutants with the legs of a bird, the body of a porcupine, the muzzle of a bear, the forked tongue of a snake, and a weird expanding gullet. They went from merely being sighted in the woods to actively causing havoc eating sap from maple syrup buckets on the trees and throwing rocks and shooting darts at teenagers. By the time the author claimed they also have lavender blood that resembled hydraulic fluid I am pretty sure I was verbally yelling, “NO WAY. WHAT ARE YOU ON?!”
But it gets better!! There are also encounters with “little foot” who resembles a treetop orangutan (in New England…..) as well as Bigfoot, Mothman, and a “Giant Blackbird of Doom.” Mothman appears to be an actual moth, just many thousands of times the normal size?? And the Giant Blackbird of Doom (what most people would call a Thunderbird) is holding onto a tree and using it to catapult itself into the air to reach flight.
That was 43 pages of complete what-the-fuck. I’m hoping this guy just did an awfully lot of acid because if these animals really exist…. holy crap. I don’t think I should be wanderin’ the woods. That being said I am so going to go trekking through some of the forests named because why wouldn’t I….
Also I am so counting this as “a memoir” for this round of Armed with a Bingo.
