{"id":685,"date":"2017-11-20T06:45:55","date_gmt":"2017-11-20T06:45:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/theophanesavery.com\/the-boneless-chicken-blog\/?p=685"},"modified":"2019-03-16T06:54:30","modified_gmt":"2019-03-16T06:54:30","slug":"accepting-winters-torpor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/theophanesavery.com\/the-boneless-chicken-blog\/2017\/11\/20\/accepting-winters-torpor\/","title":{"rendered":"Accepting Winter’s Torpor"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Winter is really hard on my body. It always has been, but for some reason I always forget this when spring comes around and I feel better. Summer flies by when I am doing my best and when I start stumbling in fall denial sets in pretty fucking hard. By winter I am usually super cranky by my seemingly sudden, diverse, and deep limitations. My body thinks winter is the time of year to sleep 16 hours a day and fighting this never ends well… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Self-acceptance\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

This is the first year I learned how to shrug my shoulders and say, “OK! It is what it is!” I don’t beat myself up about what I should be doing or getting done. I live by one simple rule: If I am capable do one productive thing every day. The one productive thing can be something super simple and something most people would take for granted – something like cleaning up the kitchen, going grocery shopping, writing a blog entry, or saying hello to a friend. So far this has worked – and the days I do not get out of bed I just accept for what they are – coma days. Nothing was going to get done those days anyway. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Life-is-beautiful-wallpaper-HD-image\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

I cannot tell you how much this one tiny shift in the way I think has improved my mental health. I am so happy these days, even though I am often surrounded by seemingly insurmountable challenges I did not ask for. I have learned to take joy in the small moments, to laugh whenever I can, to sing loudly and badly, and to honor myself by being myself – wholly and without exception. Life is exciting again! I feel like a teenager, which is hilarious because I felt like I was ninety when I actually was a teenager. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"anxiety-meds\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

I continue to work on improving my life however I can, whenever I can, and at my own turtle’s pace. Lately I have felt so calm. <\/em>An inner zen has hugged my entire being and I know deep within my soul that if I keep working hard and dutifully, and keep doing the best I can, I will be rewarded in the future. Everything is going to be OK. I have never felt more certain of anything in my life. But perhaps this is just what it feels like to live without crippling anxiety. I have had heart-pounding anxiety since I was at least eight, if not younger. It’s robbed me of most night’s sleep, it hindered my social growth for at least two decades, and it was such an all encompassing part of my life that I thought that I wouldn’t be me without it – which is why I never sought medication to alleviate the problem. But little by little as I change the way I think the anxiety has floated away. I sleep well now, cuddled up nice and warm, all by myself, comforted by nothing but a welcome silence. I also can say hello to complete strangers, make phone calls without planning it out first, and drive to new places whenever my heart desires. As I faced all my fears one by one they all ran away and left me in peace. I am shocked with how far I have come and love who I am right now. Without the anxiety I am still me. I’m a better me. I’m a more well adjusted me. I’m a fearless, heavily opinionated, high self confidence version of me which is kicking ass at life – even when my body slows me way the fuck down. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"perfectly-imperfect\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

I was always told you needed to love yourself and I always thought I did but I was wrong. I loved most of myself but I hated my health and the vast limitations of my body. I had to realize that although my health does not define me it is a big part of who I am and that’s OK. <\/em>Accepting this has replaced my former anxiety with light and joy – a light and joy I only seek to give to others whenever I see them – a light and joy that seems only to intensify as I do so. It’s been an amazing journey and I am excited to see where I end up. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Learning to love yourself means learning to accept everything – even your limitations. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":686,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[268],"tags":[4,52,93,271,272,144,270,269,189],"class_list":["post-685","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-living-with-chronic-fatigue-syndrome","tag-acceptance","tag-confidence","tag-happiness","tag-inner-peace","tag-living-with-limitations","tag-love","tag-loving-yourself","tag-self-appreciation","tag-self-esteem","wpcat-268-id"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/theophanesavery.com\/the-boneless-chicken-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2019\/03\/winter-solstice.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/paOpxN-b3","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/theophanesavery.com\/the-boneless-chicken-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/685","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/theophanesavery.com\/the-boneless-chicken-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/theophanesavery.com\/the-boneless-chicken-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theophanesavery.com\/the-boneless-chicken-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theophanesavery.com\/the-boneless-chicken-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=685"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/theophanesavery.com\/the-boneless-chicken-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/685\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":687,"href":"https:\/\/theophanesavery.com\/the-boneless-chicken-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/685\/revisions\/687"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theophanesavery.com\/the-boneless-chicken-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/686"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/theophanesavery.com\/the-boneless-chicken-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=685"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theophanesavery.com\/the-boneless-chicken-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=685"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theophanesavery.com\/the-boneless-chicken-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=685"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}