{"id":24,"date":"2019-03-19T09:19:06","date_gmt":"2019-03-19T09:19:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/theophanesavery.com\/cluttered-thoughts-from-a-deranged-mind\/?p=24"},"modified":"2019-03-19T09:19:06","modified_gmt":"2019-03-19T09:19:06","slug":"never-ask-for-directions-to-the-cracker-factory","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/theophanesavery.com\/cluttered-thoughts-from-a-deranged-mind\/2019\/03\/19\/never-ask-for-directions-to-the-cracker-factory\/","title":{"rendered":"Never Ask for Directions to the Cracker Factory&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"alignleft is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/derangedthoughtsfromaclutteredmind.files.wordpress.com\/2017\/08\/pinkpajamas.jpg?w=300\" alt=\"pinkpajamas\" class=\"wp-image-359\" width=\"219\" height=\"219\"\/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"alignright\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/derangedthoughtsfromaclutteredmind.files.wordpress.com\/2017\/08\/megreflymoose.jpg\" alt=\"MEGREflymoose\" class=\"wp-image-362\"\/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>Sometimes having very loud and embarrassing friends can actually be pretty funny. Today I speak of a friend who once went to a flea market with me dressed in nothing but bright pink pajamas. This sort of stunt used to mortify me until one day I just snapped and stopped giving a shit, shrugging my shoulders and giving people that look, &#8220;Yeah I don&#8217;t know, this has nothing to do with me&#8230;&#8221; or at other times I&#8217;ve stepped into that role of being the embarrassing one. That&#8217;s always&nbsp;super fun!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But this story is about being lost in the middle of Nowhere Maine &#8211; and I mean nowhere &#8211; like two hours away from civilization nowhere. We&#8217;d stopped at the only business we could find, a gas station aside the highway which we were fairly certain was run by moose. There was a man at the check out and my friend ambled right up to him and asked where she was supposed to be going.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"alignleft\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/derangedthoughtsfromaclutteredmind.files.wordpress.com\/2017\/08\/cracker_factory.jpg\" alt=\"Cracker_factory\" class=\"wp-image-365\"\/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Oh well, you&#8217;re almost there, just keep going up this road and when you see the cracker factory take a right.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This is when my friend blurted out, &#8220;Cracker factory? Is that where they make all the white people?!&#8221; This threw the poor man WAY off as his directions stuttered to a halt and I gave a deep sigh.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Uhm&#8230; no&#8230;?&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;It was a joke! You know like they call white people crackers&#8230;&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>*crickets*<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Sometimes having very loud and embarrassing friends can actually be pretty funny. Today I speak of a friend who once went to a flea market&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2,3],"tags":[89,86,88,87,90,91,20,21,4,92],"class_list":["post-24","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-eccentric-individuals","category-insane-situations","tag-bad-joke","tag-cracker","tag-cracker-factory","tag-crackers","tag-dark-humor","tag-embarressing-friends","tag-funny","tag-humor","tag-maine","tag-travel","wpcat-2-id","wpcat-3-id"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/paOXsW-o","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/theophanesavery.com\/cluttered-thoughts-from-a-deranged-mind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/theophanesavery.com\/cluttered-thoughts-from-a-deranged-mind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/theophanesavery.com\/cluttered-thoughts-from-a-deranged-mind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theophanesavery.com\/cluttered-thoughts-from-a-deranged-mind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theophanesavery.com\/cluttered-thoughts-from-a-deranged-mind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=24"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/theophanesavery.com\/cluttered-thoughts-from-a-deranged-mind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":25,"href":"https:\/\/theophanesavery.com\/cluttered-thoughts-from-a-deranged-mind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24\/revisions\/25"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/theophanesavery.com\/cluttered-thoughts-from-a-deranged-mind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=24"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theophanesavery.com\/cluttered-thoughts-from-a-deranged-mind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=24"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theophanesavery.com\/cluttered-thoughts-from-a-deranged-mind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=24"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}